Day 20

Day 1 may 27 2013

Day 1 of 90 day transformation

Stick to your word

I only post here when my memories are forced back into my head:/

You gave all my stuff back today. Well through Ross at least. I was thankful for it, but it still hurt to get back gifts that I had bought you. It's not a good feeling, being erased from someone's life... I wish I was capable of completely forgetting. Or do I?

I hope you stick to your word and we can still be friends. Because I miss you in that regard. I miss your face.

I'm still haunted by your memories... Every time I think I've gotten over it, moved on, forgotten about you I always remember.. Something always draws you back.

Only time can fix this, even though I know I'll always care about you. Never can be severed a connection once so strong.

Life

I used to think I had too much time to myself. Now I realize that I don't have enough.... I really need to take it easy. I've really been doing, thinking and acting way too much. I need to slow down and be careful. I know you only live once, but you only die once too.

What's on my mind?
I need to sell my car
Get a new job
Done smoking
Done drinking
Start exercising
Still miss her

Well...

Well...
Since I've been back it's been a real whirlwind of changes and emotions. I've quit my job and sold my car, ive started fresh.. But even through the thick and thin I still miss her. I can't help it, but what really doesn't help is the fact that she bailed on our friendship, because only was she a girlfriend, but a good friend too. So you can assume why I feel like shit:/

Either way there isn't anything more that I can do...

Moments

There are moments in your life that only come once. Moments we experience always remember and cling onto. These moments create who we are, they shape our future and build our personalities; but they are greatly over estimated. Theres the first time you walk, your first birthday, your first words, your first A, your first kiss, your first car, job, love, drink.... The list goes on and on, yet we fail to realize that these moments can be relived, reintroduced with new people and new experiences over and over again throughout our lives. The moments that are overlooked are not the ones that we experience first, they are the moments we only experience once. The moments that come along once in a lifetime, and pass us by like a warm summers breeze brushing along the countryside. Things like your senior year of high school, the birth of a child, finding your one true love, growing old and retiring.... These are the moments that slip us by, the moments we take for granted rather than looking back and realizing the importance and impact they had. Its these moments that change us the most, its these moments in time that give our lives a weight, a story, a beauty that shines brighter than the brightest star. Try to acknowledge these moments and your life as you go through them and relish in the moments as you experience them, because they only come once and they're gone in the blink of an eye; just like your life.